When will this end?
I’ve lost track of the days. Mondays feel like Fridays and Wednesdays like Sundays. Last Sunday was Easter and I completely forgot about it. My new morning is noon, and I’m not proud to say that my sleep schedule is super messed up. I stay in bed more than I would like, which makes my days go by faster. Being stuck at home has made me look into my old hobbies and also explore new ones. I hadn’t picked up my guitar since school started in the fall, and now I’m learning a new song while improving my technique. The school didn’t give me much time to paint, but now that I’m at home, I have been painting and trying to gain my skills back. This quarantine has given me some extra time to explore different activities as well. Activities such as learning to cook new things other than pasta and meditating, which I’ve learned, is a great stress reliever. I’m trying to do as many things as I can to keep me sane while being stuck at home. Typically I’m not the social butterfly type, but I definitely will be going out more after this is over. This situation has sparked up my OCD and I find myself organizing everything around me and washing my hands constantly. It really frustrates me as I’ve developed patterns for doing things such as turning lights on and off three times every time I enter my room or checking all the doors in my house before going to bed. My mind was always busy while being at school and now that distraction is gone so my OCD keeps getting worse. Having all this time on my hands has also made me realize how little I valued what I had before. I’m talking about things I took for granted like being able to go to school and have a routine, seeing my friends and boyfriend every day, even going out to eat with my family every week. I miss all of that and if I’d known I wouldn’t have it for a while I would have enjoyed it a little more. I find myself scrolling through my gallery and seeing pictures of some weeks ago. I was out eating dinner with my family and at school with friends, before everything went into chaos. I stopped being concerned with the news since the same messages were repeated over and over again. More cases of coronavirus in the area, more deaths, and more people recovering. News channels advising people to stay in their homes. Were not getting any answers as to when this will be over. It became terrifying seeing the numbers of deaths rise, and I’d rather not think about it. That seems really egocentric, but I’d rather not be concerned with how many people are dying and try to continue viewing this as positively as I can. Everyone is dealing with this differently and my way is not focusing on what’s happening with the world at the moment. I’m doing my best to live as normal as possible during this crisis. Even with my family at home, I feel very lonely, so I wish things could go back to the way they were pretty soon.