Tagged: journal

Now What?

The past few weeks have been hectique, I’ve worked extremely hard, have studied, and pushed through the hardships trying to get through all I want to accomplish. I’ve done my homework, quizzes and have been able to keep my grades up. As well as getting prepared and working on phase two of running for an Area officer position. This Monday I had my last two interviews after turning my two speeches in on Friday after making it to phase two of the process of becoming an Area officer.

 Wednesday I found out that I will not be becoming one of the Area officers. The advisor thankfully let us have the chance to turn off our audio and cameras on the zoom call as she announced the results which would be a God sent. As she called out the 7 officers from each district, my district was left to be announced to the end and my nerves grew stronger and stronger and as my name didn’t get called tears fell down my face. I cried not because I’m selfish, or jealous. I cried because of all the hard work, dedication on time that I put into this because I truly have a passion to serve and wanted to be part of the team. I cried because I wanted to be part of this amazing opportunity to be part of a team which helped others grow through the organization and help grow the next generation of leaders and I won’t be able to be that for my Area. But I know my worth and I know that everything happens for a reason, so I know I will overcome this loss and be strong. 

After the announcements as tears fell down my face I had to announce to everyone who helped me through the process of running and who have been there by my side and who have guided me and encouraged me along the way. These words helped me calm down and have faith in the future, and in myself.

 I plan on doing something big this year, with all this new time that I have I don’t know what it will be yet, maybe  I will create my own blog, a business, possibly I’ll get into photograph I’m not sure but i do know I want to work on doing something, maybe get my grades better and focus more on school and what my future endeavors hold. 

But I will take my own advice as I said in my canaduate speech. I will not fear the ups and downs but embrace them, because they are part of my journey in the organization and now life. I will continue to take the advice I have preached through the years and take them into my everyday life, I’m glad I have got to take part in this experience and although the end result wasn’t the one I hoped for it was a ride  that was impactful, memorable, and one I wouldn’t  mind  to experience again. 

AP Season is Here, What Now?

In a couple of days, the enduring hazy blue late nights spent looking over Newton’s fundamental laws of motion and the peppy chirpy lectures of Mr. Greg Jacobs will be brought to a close. A 45-minute blank white test will hurl the concepts of torque, kinematics, energy, and dynamics my way– all in two simple seperate questions.

I’ve always liked physics and naively ignored all the demeaning discredit many gave it. I thought: “Physics is literally just math— the actual love of my life— but applied to real world situations.” My soft impression of physics was just Math 2.0; little did I know a whole rocky, asteriod belt of complex physics questions moving faster than the speed of light would try to knock my determination to learn down. 

I now realize that even though—  at a glance— Physics uses many elements of Mathematics, they are as related as I am to my neighbor’s second cousin’s brother. Maybe I’m being a little exaggerated— just a tad bit irrational— but after studying seven heavy units of AP Physics, I, disappointingly, did little to no math while doing Physics problems. Physics had now become an even stepper mountain to climb— yet it wasn’t a complete hopeless ride. 

The conceptual questions on the Physics test always vary. Finding a small answer can take you as quick as a finger snap, or I’ll take staring at the empty computer screen for a good five minutes until that glorious “aha” moment hits. 

I talk from experience when I say that you have to carefully– and I cannot stress this enough– slowly, read the question being asked. Skimming over questions isn’t the best approach to AP; you could potentially miss a crucial component or detail given that is essential to solving the problem. From Mr. Joshua Beck’s calm and collected instructions, keeping your cool is the best way to go. Yes, AP gives more stress than a small orange fish in a sea of raging sharks, however, AP tests are not impossible to ace. That five is achievable; if—  along with the late night study sessions— you secure strong unwithering perseverance to successfully pass. 

Passing the Physics test is the top goal on my lengthy to do list. I spent a good 2-hour FaceTime call with my astonishingly crazy smart Physics buddy from Palmview to answer some free response questions. From that moment on, I grew increasingly confident in potentially passing this grueling test. All because I realized one thing— I wasn’t alone. 

Plenty of stressed out high schoolers across the nation are in your position. Whether it’s struggling with drastically different classes like AP World History or AP Macroeconomics, on the inside we’re all the same—  we want to pass. AP Season is here. What went from being eight long months away has now zoomed to the top of our calendars. The iridescent, stunning opportunity for well earned college hours is knocking on our door. The only question is: “Are we going to run the full tiresome mile to open it?”

Feeling rushed

This week has felt so rushed and stressful since AP tests are coming up. I finished writing my 5-page research paper, and I’ve never felt so relieved. I was apprehensive that I would not be able to turn in my assignments on time, and I am currently doing some at the moment as well. Eventually, I studied some old AP exam questions, and I had placed a timer to help me manage my time with each item. I taught myself to remain calm under pressure, and I’ve been improving quite a bit; I hope to get at least a three on the physics exam. Also, I’ve been finishing the long assignments before deadlines and complete the short ones for later, leaving off with extra days just to chill. Hopefully, my hotspot remains to have stable and fast wifi for the rest of the week. I am with my dad up north, and shockingly, the local people in this small town are not wearing any masks or anything. Only the cashiers were wearing them, and I felt a sense of tension and awkwardness when my mom and I were the only ones protected. On the other hand, it’s been very chilly here, and I was able to spend time with my whole family. My dad brought us to where he works, what he specialized in, and what types of things he does daily. It made me feel closer to him knowing how it’s not an easy job in my point of view, but it is also hazardous since there are many rattlesnakes, scorpions, and wild boars roaming around. On the other hand, I’ve been distracting myself with social media, and I’m also studying so much that I figured out how easy physics and math can be once you get the hang of it. I would always hesitate and give up once I’d see a long word problem or equation, but I’ve taught myself to try and engage in solving the problem, and I’ve returned to loving math now. I still stumble on remembering formulas and forgetting to put the decimal in the correct spot. Again, I understand lessons better than before, instead of immediately asking for my friends if they knew how to do it. Alth
ough, I still may be slacking off from time to time because I’m still not used to doing school online, and I honestly really don’t like it. I texted my old best friend who’s homeschooled, and she’s been giving me some advice like; don’t work on your bed or have your phone with you when doing so, and it’s been beneficial. I haven’t been texting all of my friends always, but I do check up on them once in a while. But, yeah, I heard there were giant deadly hornets which are fresh and very scary, of course. Other than that, I have been safe and protected, and everyone in my family hasn’t been sick with the pandemic, and hopefully, they and everyone in the world continue to stay safe during the quarantine.

Barbershops, Hair salon, Nail salon–oh–oh–My!

As from today, May 8, they officially opened the Barbershops, Hair salon, and Nail salon. I’m thrilled that they already permitted the hair salon to reopen because I needed a hair cut immediately. When I heard that they were going to close the hair salon, I was so depressed because I was going to have to wait to cut my hair until they reopened the hair salon to be able to cut my hair once again. Due to the hair salon being closed, I had to wait eight weeks until they reopened the hair salon and was approved for people to go and cut their hair. So now that the hair salon and barbershops are open, I’m delighted because now I can go to cut my hair. When going to cut my hair in the hair salon, I have to wear a face mask to be able to get inside the hair salon. Second I have to sing my name in a notebook and wait until they call so I can get my hair cut and put germ-X. Third, the only time I was allowed to take off my face mask was when the lady was going to trim my beard. What I love about going to cut my hair is that they treated me with respect and they followed the COVID-19 guidelines so no client

I’m panicked with hearing that they might open some business

When I heard that the president said that he wanted to re-open some business starting in the last week of April or the first two weeks of May, I was shocked. I was asking myself, why are they already going to open some business if their people are getting more sick or still sick. How are they going to do it if they’re going to reopen restaurants and people have to be six feet apart from each other? As I see it i’m still not going to go out because i’m scared to get infected encase i decide to go out and eat in a restaurant. I’m afraid to go out even though they are already going to reopen a lot of businesses. I’m also not going to go and visit my family members because I’m scared to get the virus. I’m going to go out until they open all businesses, and it’s safe for people to go out and to gather more than ten people. I hope that all people can follow health guidelines so the COVID-19 pandemic can go away, and people can safely enjoy going out again.


            I still remember therapy sessions. Endless personal vendetta leading to the same statement, “Mija, friends are like seasons. You can’t expect them to stay longer than they should.” I felt so lonely yet selfish. It was evident that our season was over. I was willing to deteriorate myself for a couple of friends and didn’t care to realize for the people right in front of me. They were a crowd of love and hoped to cheer me on, awaiting my comeback. 

1st Season of Sailor Moon

Since the whole quarantine started, I have been watching/rewatching a bunch of anime that was on my list. I recently finished Sailor Moon (original Japanese), and ever since I finished the final episode, I have been thinking about everything Usagi had to sacrifice. I kept thinking about how a normal fourteen-year-old had to protect the planet with a few of her friends. When someone mentions sailor moon to some people, the first thing that they will remember is a crybaby wearing a sailor outfit with magical abilities, but there exists a much darker meaning behind the whole story of Usagi Tsukino.
When I watched sailor moon, I couldn’t believe how different the English dub and the Japanese sub were. I always remember the dub from my childhood as a happy and magical experience, but now that I am older, I get a more profound message from the Japanese version. I will only talk about the ending first season since all five of them are similar, but it is the first one where death was in the picture.
At the end of the first season, the sailor scouts have to fight the DD girls, which are much stronger than the scouts. The scouts die one by one protecting Usagi, which surprised me since I do not remember them dying at all. All of their deaths hit Sailor Moon, but the one that shook her was Mars’ death. Throughout this show, Rei (Mars) and Usagi resembled sisters, since they were always bickering and liking the same guy, so when Rei killed two of the DD girls by sacrificing herself, I cried even harder.
One by one, they died, and Usagi insisted on handing over the Silver Crystal to protect them, but she couldn’t. At the final battle, Sailor Moon faces off against Queen Beryl and asks her fallen friends for help in saving the world from destruction. In every season, the same message is repeated over and over, “I am the pretty guardian who fights for love and justice.” This line, or rather the word “love,” contains a deep meaning in every fight that Usagi fights since she fights to protect people she cares about even when she gets hurt. Sailor Moon died at the end of the battle and wished for things to go back to normal, to the says where she was not a Sailor Guardian, to the says where she had no worries over fighting for the sake of peace.
I cried in every season, but the first one was where I knew that this show was going to break me. I love it so much, but I still think about how much pressure these girls had to live with.

Losing it

I’ve realized that my weeks aren’t going “good” or “bad” because of the quarantine but because of how I’ve been deciding to see things. It indeed does suck if we’re honest because this whole time I’ve been blaming and judging everything because of the restrictions that have been put on us. However, if people aren’t changing or keep acting like children, it’s because that’s who they are! It sucks it took me this long to realize it finally. Anyways, how have you all been? I know life is somewhat sucky at the moment. Can you believe I’ve spent 8h and 30 minutes as a whole on Netflix this week! That tells you everything. My days have been consisting of work, Netflix, work.

New Series, Music, Purchases

Online shopping has gotten out of hand for me. I keep receiving stuff in the mail that it’s gotten to the point where I don’t even remember what I ordered. Being quarantined has been mostly dull and stressful, but online shopping keeps me entertained. Today, the state reopened businesses but I feel like this is going to create a huge chaos. The coronavirus is not dead; it’s still spreading very quickly; every day, there are new cases in the Rio Grande Valley. But you know that’s not my problem because I will continue to isolate myself inside these four walls. It hasn’t been so bad, I’ve managed to have fun on my own mostly with music.
I jam out to music almost every day, it just makes me feel free. I feel like music is my escape from reality, depending on the genre it makes me feel like I’m somewhere else. When I listen to indie rock, it makes me feel like I’m at the beach. When I listen to country, it makes me feel like I’m at the ranch. Many songs take me back to old memories and I love that music holds that power over me. Anyways, I’ve also binge-watched a new Netflix series that was released just a couple of days ago that is called “Never Have I Ever.” I believed it was going to be boring, but it ended up being a very good show. It’s mostly about teenage drama and love, but I loved how they exhibited different cultures. I really loved the show to the point where I fell in love with one of the characters which is Paxton!!!! He is so hot. I can see why Devi was all over him. Not only that, but I loved some of the music they had on the show. One of the songs I’ve had on replay is “Fire For You” by Cannons; this song comes out when Paxton kisses Devi. I overall loved the show, and I can’t wait for season 2 to come out. On another note, I’ve been catching up on skincare.
I used to break out so much and so often, but I’ve been keeping up with my routine, and I feel like that has positively affected my skin. I love doing facemasks, my favorite one at the moment is a cleansing apple cider vinegar clay mask and scrub from Freeman. It is so refreshing and leaves my skin looking flawless. Putting on facemasks is my favorite part of skincare. Anyways, I also bought some led light strips that I’ve wanted for a long time. I never bought them because I was waiting for my Christmas light to stop working which they already did. It’s calming and soothing, having not just one color, but various. Depending on my mood, I change the color. Not only that, but I love how the led lights move to the beat of the music. Out of all my online purchases, this has been my absolute favorite. Although I didn’t do much, I feel like this has been my most productive quarantine week.


Okay, so is this where I get inspirational? Well, I have had a fantastic week. You see there in the picture where I am with a horse. Well, I got to touch a horse for the first time in my 18 years, isn’t that amazing? Well, for me, it is I was so scared but yet so amazed. I am an inquisitive person, and I think that’s something that I like about myself but at the same time dislike. If you know me on a personal level, you know that I am always asking questions or looking at what you’re doing and not being nosey, but I love to learn. Whenever I want to do something, I either look at the video or ask people questions about how to do it.

Well That Was Faster Than Expected

After finally finishing the first six movies of the Star Wars franchise, I now open almost every conversation with Ewan McGregor’s iconic “Hello there” line. We are going into month two of not being in school, and I can honestly say: “Well, that went by fast.” I swear the last time I checked my calendar, it was still March 28th. It wasn’t until last night where the words “May 1st, 2020” at the top of my lock screen were put in bold for me to notice. On the bittersweet bright side, this just means that STC classes are almost finally put to a close though I do miss Mr. Garza continually reminding us to “Drink Sprite, not Dr. Pepper” every Friday after leaving his class. 

Bring Color to Quarantine

In many ways, to forget the letters COVID and the number 19, we do anything to forget everything. Where there’s a blank wall, we come up with creative ways to somehow get us busy. To add to the blank wall and replace its emptiness with our unique, vibrant colors. Before quarantine, I didn’t know spending half my day on websites like Khan Academy and AP Central would be so fun– as dorky as that may sound.

Seeing the never-ending topics that left uncovered at school is intriguing and amusing to discover. To be completely honest, I was in Math paradise once I clicked on the link on Khan Academy that redirected me to new, never before seen math topics. An entire expanding milky way galaxy of new concepts was at the top of my fingers. However, it did make me miss walking out of Mrs. Obnial’s classroom, turning to Genesis, and proudly saying: “Oh my gosh, that topic was so fun.”

While we may not realize it, quarantine has drastically changed the dancing images we have of life. We grow more appreciative of the things we took for granted. Recently, to have an escape from news stories of a virus, I’ve had small concerts in my room. Sometimes, when it feels like our current stay at the home situation will last an eternity, I pop in my headphones and just jam out to the songs my shuffle settings pick. Now, of course, I am no Celine Dion, but I can brag a little and say I am a mean lip-sync, almost the way Tom Holland did when he lip-sang to Rihanna. Jamming out in your room hits different when you have your lights off, but you’re out of season Christmas lights are on.

As these small concerts have progressed, I’ve learned to appreciate the overall music of a song. Not just listen to whoever is singing, but to take in the individual sound of the instruments and the dominant role they play. There’s always that one part of a song that we excitedly anticipate. Whether it is its smooth transitions, the gentle melody, or the hard hidden bass, there’s always that one section that makes us go: “Woah.” Quarantine, with the small concerts and the Khan Academy happiness it gave, has made us hold a golden thread of opportunity in our tiny hands.

Although we may not be able to do the outside things we used to love doing, we can always find a substitute that gives the same joyful emotions. By listening to that new album from your favorite artist that just came out, reorganizing your room in a different style, or trying out that new workout routine you saw on social media. Quarantine is as fun and as boring as you choose to make it. All we can do now is hope that the vision we have of life after quarantine– where we can finally see and hug our family and our friends– comes sooner rather than later.

Keeping it simple

Everything has been the same and repetitive. There isn’t anything interesting to jot down this week, but I did get to fix up my schedule, though. I sleep at 10 pm and then wake up somewhere at 7 in the morning. I’ve completed all my anatomy assignments and quizzes after consistent studying back and forth between the chapters. Now, I just need to complete other tasks from other classes. Other than that, I’ve mostly been on Youtube, Instagram, looking at memes, and browsing through anything interesting or funny videos. I’ve also been in touch with my close friends through facetime and just continually talking about how bored we are. I’ve also decided to rewatch The Office series for the 6th time because it never fails to make me chuckle at the same jokes. I’ve also got into painting and was able to sell my first canvas! Although I never really wanted to sell my art since I just consider it as a simple hobby, it was nice knowing that someone enjoyed the piece. I ordered some watercolor paints online since it’ll be my first time trying them out, and I’ve always loved watercolor art. I’ve also been lifting weights and gaining back muscle. I’ve been looking forward to trying out for the La Joya drill team, but I’m not sure when the tryouts will be so, I’ll need to keep a lookout for any updates.
Additionally, I haven’t gotten ready at all week, I usually was always looking forward to straightening my hair and putting on makeup for fun, but now I have been digging that natural look. I’ve gotten used to my curly/wavy hair, and I’ve learned how to style it. I’ve never liked having curly hair since it’s either frizzy or I end up using so many products just to keep its volume and definition. I’ve also been taking care of my skin, and it’s more healthy, which is excellent. I’ve been helping my mom around the house and spending more time with her. Everyone had their little routine before quarantine, and now we are keeping in touch with one another. We spend nights playing Jenga, and I’ve concluded that she’s more competitive than I thought.
Moreover, I’ve also baked blueberry muffins from scratch, and they came out better than I thought. Though the coronavirus is progressively getting worse, and there are more cases around the area. Yesterday, I was watching the local news and heard that Laredo, Texas, had received 30+ instances of the coronavirus. The reporter had claimed that people aren’t getting tested, which is a problem around the area, and they were trying to spread awareness about the issue. However, one of the drawbacks that I’ve seen is that people, especially people that I know, are continuing to leave their homes and drive around like it’s nothing. It’s probably one of the reasons why people are prone to get infected. All in all, I hope that everyone is staying inside and hopefully finding ways to get distracted and also staying safe.

COVID-19: You Are Making Me Anxious

I’m getting anxious about being stuck in my house because of the coronavirus. I don’t like the idea that I have to be stuck at home and can’t go out of my house. So to keep myself entertained during this quarantine, I’m doing a lot of TikTok videos. So because I’m bored I’m doing more TikTok every day during my free time. To keep me busy, I’m reading books, learning how to prepare new food, and prepare new drinks. I’m getting really anxious and going crazy because if you don’t have gloves and face masks, you can’t go out anywhere. So I pray for this Covid-19 to stop spreading so everything can go back to normal life. I wish people stop going out too much to the store if they don’t have to go because of them going out too much to the store we can go out because of the coronavirus spread. So that way, I’m getting frustrated with being more than three weeks at home already that been more than the normal think.